USS Gerald R. Ford Rolls Into Caribbean: Venezuela, Brace For Dad Jokes & Missiles

The USS Gerald R. Ford, America’s largest floating disagreement with Nicolas Maduro, is cruising toward Venezuela with a sparkling entourage including the Iwo Jima, Gravely, and Stockdale—because one warship wasn’t enough drama. Armed to the teeth with Tomahawks, helicopters, and tech that could probably hack your smart fridge, this fleet is the expensive answer to a "drug-smuggler bingo" game that’s killed 65 unlucky cheaters off South America. Meanwhile, Trump's $175 billion Golden Dome car factory project cools its jets while troops get dispatched from Southern border parties to US cities, proving America’s military multitasking skills peaked somewhere between Haiti ’94 nostalgia and a Cuban missile crisis encore. Polls show Republicans don’t love this armada as much as before, but hey, what’s a little declining approval among friends when you’re busy playing real-life Risk in the Caribbean? Mark Cancian calls SOUTHCOM a 'backwater' finally getting a glow-up, while experts wonder what else we’ll give up as Trump’s war on cartels maybe crashes the party in Mexico next. Hold onto your Tomahawks, folks.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Trump’s Caribbean party: 1 massive aircraft carrier, 3 crystal-clear warships, 65 drug smugglers turned target practice, and a $175 billion factory that probably built the world’s most expensive paperweight so far. When did political brinkmanship become second job?

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

The US Navy in Venezuela is like that one friend who RSVPs to every party but shows up with an entire marching band—led by Trump's ego marching first.

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