Cupid’s On Strike: Apps Fail, Friends Forced To Swipe
Welcome to America's dating drought, where Hinge has become the new Bermuda Triangle of romance, and texting is the new bad date. Elena Vargas is playing unpaid Uber Matchmaker, swiping and setting dates so her busy friend can 'just show up and be yourself.' As dating pro Damona Hoffman says, people want an 'old-fashioned meet-cute,' because apparently modern dating feels like ordering love from a vending machine. Terence Philpotts sums it up: 'People simply don’t go out as much as they used to.' So call your aunt, set up your friends, and save mankind from the endless chat loop doomed to forever fizzle out.
Share the Story
(1 of 3)Dating apps are like thrift stores for love: lots of options, nothing fits, and you end up texting someone’s ghost for weeks. Time to bring back good old friend setups because America’s lost its swipe mojo.
Congrats, modern dating! You've managed to make love so exhausting that your friends are now doing your swiping. Who knew romance became the unpaid internship nobody wanted?
Swipe left on dating apps; swipe right on friends as matchmakers. Because finding love now feels like assembling IKEA furniture blindfolded—with your bestie holding the Allen wrench.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 7/27/2025 | Author: Juliana Kaplan
More Articles in US News
Motorola Razr Flip Phones Finally Told They’re Secure Enough for 2027
KPMG’s Consulting Business Dies Dramatically While Staff Take a Hike
America Tries Staying Cool While Secretly Preparing For Wattocalypse
Pentagon Rolls Out Brain Health Tracking, Forgets Staff, Equipment, Common Sense
Nation's Crime Rate Crashes Like Your Uncle’s Pandemic Hangover
Texas Governor Regrets Encouraging Giant Server Barns, Now Halts 1800 Projects
70-Year-Old Foster Grandma’s Retirement Plan: Never Stop Parenting or Working
USPS Demands Voter Info But Swears Court Says ‘Nope’
