Amazon Axes 14,000 Jobs as AI Plays 'Who's Next?'

In the labor market's latest episode of 'Freeze & Slice,' Amazon chopped 14,000 jobs this week – because apparently AI is now the office gravedigger. Paramount quietly trimmed around 1,000, because nothing says Hollywood glamour like layoffs. UPS joined the purge with tens of thousands fallen too, though they didn't specify how many, maybe too embarrassed to brag. Economists assure us the job market is fine, if you ignore the monthly 1.7 million layoffs average and the government shutdown hiding the real stats. Jerome Powell squints at these AI-fueled cuts, worried data's stuck in a bureaucratic freezer. Just 20 more Amazons tossing bodies out the door and boom — recession panic party! Meanwhile, some sectors like healthcare still desperately need humans, because 'robots can't care for Grandma' (yet). But hey, if 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf' ran layoffs, we're definitely in the sequel's opening scenes.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Amazon cuts 14,000 jobs citing AI like it’s the Grim Reaper with a spreadsheet. Meanwhile, UPS and Paramount sneak layoffs in like bad holiday gifts. Data's MIA thanks to a government shutdown—so keep calm and trust the official silence.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Layoffs are the new office accessory this year: Amazon drops 14,000 like hot potatoes, UPS shrinks in mysterious ways, and Paramount wonders why employees still show up. AI’s doing the dirty work, and we’re just the collateral email.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

The job market’s like a bad group chat where Amazon’s shouting 'I’m firing 14,000!' and everyone else is awkwardly ‘LOL, same maybe?’ Government data’s on pause because apparently ghosts handle stats now.

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