Trump’s Smithsonian Makeover: Cola Wars and Mammoth Missions
In a boldly "patriotic" twist, the White House has decreed a total Smithsonian "tone" overhaul to better align with what it calls 'American ideals.' President Trump demands a new wing about the Cola wars and plaques updated to confirm that wooly mammoths were, well, presumably more 'American' than we thought. The Smithsonian, known for its cultural and historical depth, now faces a soda-fueled, mammoth-sized history lesson, blending history with a soda-pop splash and prehistoric patriotism that only the Trump era could inspire.
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When your history museum turns into a Fizz Fest and prehistoric USA-themed carnival, you know your national narrative got a funky makeover bigger than that wooly mammoth’s beard.
Who knew mammoths and cola wars could be the new front-line battle in America’s culture clash? Smithsonian just went from prestige to Pepsi real quick.
If updating museums was an Olympic sport, Trump’s Smithsonian plan would take gold for spritzing syrup on serious history. Next up: fossilized soda cans!
Source: Theonion | Published: 8/18/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
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