Al Michaels Sums Up 156 Years Of Football Like It's A Soap Opera
During Thursday night's Dolphins-Bills game in Orchard Park, NY, veteran play-by-play announcer Al Michaels undertook the Herculean task of recapping the entire 156-year history of American football. Yes, instead of just calling one 3rd-and-7 play, Michaels kindly paused live action to provide a crash course on pigskins, leather helmets, and gridiron glory, evidently assuming viewers just arrived from another planet or CompuServe in 1987. The Onion reports Michaels' unsolicited time machine commentary probably made history buffs rethink their life choices while reminding everyone this sport really wasn't hiding anywhere. A masterclass in sports nerd power naps disguised as play-by-play commentary.
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Al Michaels just turned a single 3rd-and-7 snap into a 156-year Netflix documentary on football. Guess the halftime show got the day off and so did our patience.
Only Al Michaels could make Dolphins-Bills sound like the sequel to the Gettysburg Address. Who needs Game of Thrones when you have 19th-century leather helmets drama?
They say knowledge is power, but Al Michaels broadcasting the entire history of football mid-game feels more like punishment than education.
Source: Theonion | Published: 9/19/2025 | Author: The Onion Staff
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