JPMorgan Says AI Wars: China vs America, But Make It Wall Street
In a pulse-pounding 2025 report leaked like your aunt's bad juju, JPMorgan Chase declares the US is crushing the global AI race ā mostly thanks to massive private-sector cash infusions and government bureaucrats who now play investor and dealmaker instead of actual regulators. Trump-era moves like giving Intel a government stake and letting Nvidia sell chips to China in exchange for profits read like a bizarre command-economy cosplay. Derek Chollet, a Biden-turned-defense-staffer, casually calls the 2024 election 'the most consequential' AI shift since the nuclear age, while warning tariffs, immigration cuts, and science funding slashes might bugger up US AI dreams. Amid cutthroat trade threats like Chinaās rare earth blackmail and Trumpās 100% tariff flex (that he *totally* reckons will end fine), seven geopolitical axes spin AI chess pieces worldwide ā from Middle Eastern petrodollars buying AI muscle to EU begging tech independence like an ex in denial.
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JPMorganās 2025 AI report reads like a Cold War reboot: Chinaās gunning for AI supremacy, US governments turning regulators into venture capitalists, and Trump tweeting tariffs like itās a strategy game nobody asked to play.
AI isnāt just changing the future; itās turning geopolitics into a bizarre game show where the US invests in Intel with one hand and threatens 100% tariffs with the other. Tune in for capitalist chaos!
Imagine Wall Street meets Terminator: JPMorgan says the AI arms race is real, and instead of lasers weāve got tariffs and political tweets as bullets. Who needs nukes when you have Nvidia chips and badly timed immigration policy?
Source: Axios | Published: 10/14/2025 | Author: Courtenay Brown
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