AI CEOs Ghost Wall Street Like Bad Tinder Dates

This week’s episode of 'AI CEOs Not Answering Questions' featured Sam Altman of OpenAI and Alex Karp of Palantir dodging Wall Street harder than a cat avoids water. When pressed about OpenAI's wild $13 billion revenue and their face-melting $1.4 trillion spending plan, Altman casually offered, 'If you want to sell your shares, I'll find you a buyer,' aka the investment equivalent of 'I’ll call you.' Meanwhile, Karp called Michael Burry—a dude famous for shorting the housing market and now Palantir's stock—'bats—t crazy.' Investors like RBC's Rishi Jaluria are starting to worry about how AI's half a trillion dollar betting spree on infrastructure will ever break even, but some token AI evangelists like Jack Janasiewicz just don’t care about valuations 'because they're subjective,' which sounds suspiciously like forgetting your wallet at a Vegas slot machine. Meta, Oracle, Alphabet, and Amazon are throwing around $450 billion like they’re prepping for an AI-themed rave instead of fiscal responsibility. So yes, AI companies are spending like frat boys in a futures auction while Wall Street wonders if they left their calculators on airplane mode.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

AI CEOs respond to hard finance questions with vibes, insults, and dodges—because who really cares if you’re spending $1.4 trillion on digital magic when you can just call someone to buy your shares?

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

When your company burns $1.4 trillion and your only comeback is ‘I’ll find a buyer,’ congratulations, you’ve officially descended into startup spinner territory.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Palantir CEO calling Michael Burry 'bats–t crazy' is peak tech bro logic: ignore market skepticism by personal attack, then hope the stock magically explodes.

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