Elon’s Tiny Flood Tunnels: The Boring Bayou Blunder
After Hurricane Harvey flooded Houston like a frat party gone wild in 2017, local experts dreamed up a $30 billion mega-tunnel system highway for water, 30-40 feet wide, to sling gallons straight to the Gulf. Enter Elon Musk, who pitched his Boring Company’s version: two slender 12-foot tunnels — basically the water equivalent of Skinny Jeans vs. Mom Jeans — at a cool $760 million, with 15% upfront from taxpayers. Partnered with Rep. Wesley Hunt (eyeing a Senate smackdown with John Cornyn), Musk’s team quietly schmoozed officials since 2025, despite experts saying these skinny tunnels barely move an inch of floodwater. Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick still worships Elon like a tech messiah, declaring, 'Elon Musk is one of the only people who could accomplish this.' Spoiler: Boring Co. specializes in transportation tunnels, not flood fights, and last public project was a Vegas rollercoaster for slightly confused tourists. Harris County commissioners curiously fast-tracked studying Boring’s pet project, even though construction hasn’t even started on the original mighty tunnel plan. Meanwhile, the Army Corps of Engineers is still kinked up in red tape. It’s flood relief or Boring’s greed? Houston may soon find out, hopefully before the next rain apocalypse.
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Elon pitches two skinny tunnels to fix Houston’s monster floods like applying chapstick to a swimming pool. Texas politics and potholes have never looked so shady — but hey, 15% upfront, because who doesn’t love pre-paying for possible disappointment?
If Elon’s 12-foot tunnels stop less water than a plastic straw at a hurricane party, does 15% upfront still make it a bargain or just a fancy pool noodle?
Houston’s flooding solution: turn to the guy who tunnels cars, not water. It’s like hiring Gordon Ramsay to fix your plumbing — chaotic, expensive, and probably disappointing.
Source: Propublica | Published: 8/28/2025 | Author: by Lauren McGaughy, The Texas Newsroom, and Yilun Cheng, Houston Chronicle
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