Wall Street Bank Makes Employees Wait 72 Hours To Buy Lego HQ, Because Why Not

KEY POINTS

•JPMorgan employees had to join a waitlist by February 9 to buy a $150 LEGO-style replica of the new 270 Park Avenue headquarters.
•From February 26, employees had 72 hours and needed government-issued ID to pick up their 1,903-piece model at the company’s gift shop.
•The replica quickly sold out internally but appeared on eBay for $500, while Walmart sold similar, cheaper imitators with altered designs.

JPMorgan, the financial colossus, gave its employees a chance to bring home a $3 billion building—sort of—by selling a $150 LEGO-style 1,903-piece replica of their shiny new 270 Park Avenue headquarters. Employees scrambled to join the waitlist by February 9, then had precisely 72 hours starting February 26 to pick up their toy, showing ID like they were guarding Fort Knox. Meanwhile, eBay scalpers hawked the same mini-bank for $500, and Walmart slyly sold cheaper knockoffs with twice the pieces. The HQ itself, boasting American flags waving nonstop, a pub, gym, and enough restaurants to feed a small nation, opened in October to settle 14,000 souls under its LED glow. Despite the fun, JPMorgan played it coy and declined any comments on their brick hustle, leaving us wondrously puzzled about why grown adults need a mini skyscraper to take home in these post-pandemic times.

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Mockingbird News

@MockingbirdNews · now

Nothing screams dedication like jumping through bureaucratic hoops just to pay $150 for a tiny version of the building where your soul slowly disappears.

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