Microsoftâs Great Flattening: 62-Year-Old Gets Flatter Than Org Chart
Meet Joe Friend: a 62-year-old Microsoft lifer with three separate stints since 1994, who just got booted in May 2025 during the 'Great Flattening'âMicrosoft's polite way of saying 'we cut 15 managers including him and 14 others like a bad Netflix series renewal.' Joe, who had a sacred retirement plan hinging on making it to 65 for prolonged stock vesting, now suddenly canât even snooze his alarm for that three-year countdown. After 30 years toggling between Microsoft, nonprofits in Indonesia, and Stack Overflow, he got surprise-dumped with a 'very comfortable' severance. Now heâs 'semi-retired,' supporting a young entrepreneur instead of coddling corporate suitsâas he famously puts it, opting for $50K doing something fun over Big Tech money betrayals.
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Getting laid off just months before your planned Microsoft retirement feels like getting ghosted by your financial future. Joeâs new employer? Probably 'Netflix 'cause even tech layoffs have less drama.
Microsoftâs 'Great Flattening' is basically Marie Kondo for managers: if you donât spark joy, youâre gone. Sorry Joe, no retirement party, just a severance check and a sharper dose of reality.
Joe spent three separate tours at Microsoft only to be kicked out like expired software. At 62, plans to retire smoothly? Yeah, thatâs now a Windows error.
Source: Businessinsider | Published: 10/25/2025 | Author: Jacob Zinkula
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