Trump Declares His Health 'Perfect' After Denying MRI, Cardiovascular Scan, and Bruises

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

KEY POINTS

•President Trump claimed during a Wall Street Journal interview that his health is 'perfect' despite public skepticism over his age and medical scans.
•He expressed regret over last October’s cardiovascular and abdominal CT scan at Walter Reed, saying it gave critics 'ammo' to question his health.
•Trump blamed hand bruises last year on his long-term high-dose aspirin usage and brushed off photos showing him blinking or appearing sleepy.

In a masterclass of medical speak and selective amnesia, 79-year-old President Trump proclaimed 'My health is perfect' in a WSJ interview, despite confusing an MRI with a 'lesser' CT scan at Walter Reed last October. His Navy Doc, Capt. Sean Barbabella, cautiously confirmed the imaging—but Trump wishes he'd skipped it, blaming it for giving 'them' ammo. Bruises on his hand? Just decades of 'higher dose' aspirin causing cardiac prevention, not mystery bruising. To counter sleepy photo evidence, Trump insists closing his eyes is just 'relaxing,' welcomes blinking paparazzi for catching his 'blink,' and claims he’s 'never been a big sleeper.' Genetics and golf keep him ticking, but everything else? 'Boring.'